Rage. The word alone might make you squirm.
For women in midlife—especially those navigating the chaos of perimenopause—rage can feel like a whole new addition to a confusing time already.
Like, where did this come from?
Why I am so angry? At the most random things...like my partner breathing? Or my dog scratching? Or the asshole in front of me who can't decide which pastry to order at the coffee shop?
But what if rage wasn’t your enemy?
What if perimenopause was a time to reframe rage as simply an expression of the fierce fire within you...the untamed voice saying, Enough is enough. It's time to take back what’s mine.
My latest pod dropped today and I dove into rage from a Human Design perspective.
I explored the roots of feminine rage, why it often comes bubbling to the surface in midlife, and how you can embrace it as a tool for transformation rather than a problem to fix.
Why Are Midlife Women So Angry?
Let’s be real—there’s a lot to be pissed off about.
Hormones are a big part of it. Perimenopause turns estrogen into an unpredictable rollercoaster, messing with your serotonin (hello, mood swings). This hormonal chaos means you’re not imagining those moments (as mentioned above) that seem small suddenly feel like the last straw.
But it’s not just biology. Midlife women are done carrying the impossible expectations society has dumped on us for decades:
Be selfless but still achieve success.
Look youthful but accept aging gracefully.
Speak up but not too loudly.
By midlife, we’ve been bending and twisting ourselves into these pretzel-like expectations for years. Rage is what happens when you’ve twisted so much that the pretzel snaps.
Human Design and the Rage Connection
Here’s where Human Design steps in as a powerful tool. Rage often stems from operating as the "Not-Self"—living out patterns and behaviors that don’t align with who you truly are.
Each of the nine centers in your Human Design chart tells a story about where you might feel trapped, frustrated, or out of alignment.
If you don't have your chart handy, get it here so you can see what centers you have undefined.
When we don't have definition in a center, that means that we don't have consistent access to that kind of energy. It comes and goes.
Rage can hide here--in our undefined centers-- waiting to be acknowledged and released. When we are acting from our undefined centers, or putting forth energy that's not consistently ours, it can lead to frustration, disappointment, bitterness, and anger.
Left to fester, this builds to rage.
Let's look at the challenges inherent in each center, and some journal prompts to help you dig in:
1. Head Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Pressure to have all the answers.
Prompts:
Where am I demanding certainty from myself?
How can I let go of the need to solve every problem?
2. Ajna/Mind Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Rigid thinking to feel secure.
Prompts:
What beliefs am I clinging to out of fear?
Where can I invite more curiosity into my life?
3. Throat Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Speaking up just to be seen, even if you don't feel compelled to share something meaningful.
Prompts:
Where am I afraid of silence?
How can I honor my own timing in conversations?
4. Identity Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Losing yourself in others.
Prompts:
Where have I compromised my values for someone else?
What does being me feel like right now?
5. Ego/Heart Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Trying to prove your worth.
Prompts:
What am I doing just to feel "enough"?
What would it feel like to simply rest in my worthiness?
6. Spleen Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Holding onto outdated fears.
Prompts:
What am I holding onto that feels heavy?
How can I honor my intuition over external noise?
7. Sacral Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Overworking or overcommitting.
Prompts:
What would change if I said “no” more often?
How can I create more time for joy and rest?
8. Emotional Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Avoiding difficult emotions.
Prompts:
What emotions have I been stuffing down?
What am I doing in place of feeling?
9. Root Center (Undefined)
What your challenges may be that lead to rage: Rushing to get things done.
Prompts:
How does my busyness serve me (or not)?
What would slowing down feel like in my body?
Rage Rituals for Midlife Women
If you’re feeling the fire of rage bubbling up, don’t suppress it—express it. Here are a few ideas to help move the energy:
Scream Therapy: Roll up the windows in your car and let it rip. Or take it to the woods if you’re feeling extra primal.
Shake It Out: Channel your inner golden retriever and literally shake your body to release pent-up tension.
Dance It Out: Put on your angriest anthem (P!nk, anyone?) and move until you feel the release.
Smash It: Break plates, pottery, or anything safely smashable. It’s cathartic and effective.
Rage as a Portal to the Wild Woman
Your rage isn’t a problem to be fixed; it’s a sacred invitation to step into your power. By acknowledging your anger, understanding its roots, and letting it flow, you move closer to your most authentic self.
Want support? Check out the Midlife by Design podcast or book a Human Design reading to explore your Not-Self patterns.
And if you’re ready for a full transformation, join me in Costa Rica for the Wild Women by Design retreat.
Let’s rage—and rise—together.
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